Dark waters
by proffdippet
Summary: “Water gives us all life. Life is water and we are saved by it.” How does Ginny feel after the trio have left and she is at school without them?


"Water gives us all life. Life is water and we are saved by it."

It is hot. The sun burns my skin and my hair glows an odd orange, as if it is flames licking my head. I can feel myself shining. It is blinding.

I long for water. I need it. I think about it. It comes in different shapes and forms. We bath in hot water, but drink cold water. It can be ice, or a puddle or just steam; solid, liquid, gas. It has colours too. Brown puddles, black lakes, blue seas, white ice, and clear rain. Rainbows in orange, red, blue, green, purple. It comes in different forms. Ice; rain; tears. It has a taste and it has a smell. You can swim in water, feeling the cool was over you. You can float in water too, supported and weightless at the same time.

I sit by the lake now. I dip my toes in and then slide my body in. It washes over me, cleansing me and cooling me. I am alone and I want to be more alone. No one notices me anyway. They went away, my brother and my friend. And him. I don't think about him when I can help it.

I swim out into the lake. It is deep and foreboding and yet I still feel the pull of it. I want to be in it, surrounded by it, taken by it. I want it to be all consuming of me. I stop swimming and stay still. I am cool now and yet I am cold inside too. Nothing left inside me to be warm about. I miss them. I miss him.

But I can't think about him. He gave me too much and then took it away just as fast. He left and I don't know if he is coming back or when he will come back, if he does. And he took my brother and my friend with him, they might not come back either. It was cruel of him to take them. It was cruel of him to go. But he had to. I know he had to.

I swim to a rock and cling to it. It is cold and slime covered but that doesn't matter. For the moment it is keeping me here even though I don't think I want it to. I cling to it as if it is he, but I know it isn't and that knowledge is what makes me let go.

The lake is black beneath me. I begin to drop into the dark waters my hair spread about me like an eerie veil, my arms above my head as if I am trying to reach the sky again. I don't breath in or out. This is nice. To be able to fall weightlessly but still supported. I float down slowly, the sky getting further away. Everyone is moving further away.

Silently I think about each one of those people moving further away. My friends, my brothers, my parents. Each one of them is important to me in their own way, a little bit of my heart belongs to each. But I wonder if I belong in any of their hearts, if I hold a small corner of any of them to ransom as they hold me to ransom. I must do. They each tell me I do. But I don't think I want to anymore.

I think about him last. His dark hair, his green eyes, his little smile and his kisses. His kisses. I thought I had a place in his heart. But he left so quickly I wonder if I ever meant anything at all. If they were all empty kisses and silly promises. But…he said he loved me and I have never known him to lie. Do any of them lie to me? Not all of them. Perhaps they are all just protecting me, like he protects me and my brothers protect me and my friend protects me.

My eyes snap open and I realise how silly I have been. I realise I don't want to float anymore. I want to feel again. And I do. I feel so intensely. I don't want to be in the dark water anymore, I want to be in the sky again and I want to feel.

I move my arms and kick my feet, feeling the water rushing past me, faster now. And finally when my head breaks the surface my arms grasp the rock and cling to it again. It is then that I realise the water has done what it has always done. It gives life. It has given me my life back.

Authors notes: I own no Harry Potter characters nor anything else that JK Rowling has invented or devised. Once again, quote by me. If you don't like Ginny's despairing, then ok, but please don't flame.


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